After tonight
by jojizzaah
Summary: Castiel is the punching bag of the school, but that changes when the new kid arrives. Destiel, rated M.
1. Chapter 1

Castiel Novak walked through the school corridors with his head bent down. As usual. He could feel peoples eyes laying on him and he could hear whispers about him. He pulled the books he was holding across his chest tighter to him as if they would save him from the judging.

But in a way he was happy that people took notice in him. He used to be the guy that nobody looked twice at if they could avoid it. Unless someone was picking at him, then everybody looked at him. Castiel hadn't cared as that much. He accepted that he was the guy nobody wanted to hang with, the guy nobody cared about. He was the quiet boy that took nothing but shit from others. He simply was everybody's punching bag.

But over the summer, he had felt a need for change. He didn't want to be _that guy_ anymore. He wanted people to know him as Castiel and not _that guy._ He started to dress differently and he got himself a new haircut. He trained on his social skills, that used to be dreadful. He had a lack of understanding irony and humor, which often him look like a fool. It wasn't as that much better, but at least he didn't sound like a complete idiot anymore.

Castiel thought that the first day would be easy, that nobody would notice. But oh, how wrong he was. _Everybody _noticed. He didn't get much further than through the huge doors in the front of the school before people started talking.

_That Guy looks different._

_I think That Guy is trying to stand out._

_That Guy think he's so special._

Castiel started to regret his decision of changing. He missed the capability of hiding behind his bangs when he felt like he was being stared at. He also missed his old clothes. He used to wear dark, discrete clothes. Maybe a pair of dark jeans, a shirt and a black hoodie. He looked down at himself. He was wearing a pair of chinos, black sneakers and a blood red shirt.

His heart started beating like its gone crazy. What had he done? Why did he change?

Castiel didn't get much time to think of his poorly decision, because he was late for class. He rushed to the room he was supposed to be in, and almost turned around when he saw that almost the whole classroom was full. But he gathered the tiny amount of guts he had and walked in the room with a normal pace. To his luck – he almost got down on his knees and thanked the lord – there was a free table. It even was in one of the corners in the back.

Castiel had just gotten settled when the teacher walked through the door.

"Good morning! My name is Clay Evans and I will be your professor in business class." Castiel took a quick look at the teacher. His hair was blonde, but it had a reddish tone. The eyes were light green. Castiel looked down at his bench and drifted off from reality.

"I'm sorry to interrupt, but is this room A204?" said a loud voice, interrupting Mr. Evans.

"Yes it is. And you are?"

Castiel looked up. Mr. Evans was looking at the door, but Castiel didn't see the person he was talking to. Too many interested heads were in the way.

"Awesome. I'm sorry I'm late, but I got lost. I'm new here, so..." At the word new, people immediately started talking. Castiel on the other hand just tried to get a glimpse of the person.

"Oh, you must be Dean Winchester. I'm Clay Evans. Please, take a seat."

The talking faded out as the boy slowly walked further in the room. When he cast a quick look around the room, Castiel finally saw him. It almost took his breath away. It was the eyes. Those green, soft, beautiful eyes that almost made him lay down on the floor and cry. Castiel forced himself to look away, not to stare anymore than necessary. But he failed. He took a quick look at the rest of the boy. He was wearing a pair of denim jeans, a brown leather jacket, a green and unbuttoned shirt, and a black shirt underneath. His muscles were still visible underneath all of those layers of clothing, and it made a pretty good statement of how much muscles he actually had. His hair was brown and a bit short. He wore a necklace in the form of a weird head. Castiel had no idea what it was representing. When Dean looked his way, Castiel looked down at his books and almost started shaking with angst. He could feel Dean's eyes resting on him and a heat started to bubble on his cheeks. Dean sat down at the table next to him and Castiel could feel his heart in his throat, beating harsh.

_Bo-boom._

_Bo-boom._

Castiel didn't look at Dean during the whole class and he couldn't help himself from running out of the room when the bell rang.


	2. Chapter 2

When Dean first arrived at the little town called Westfield he didn't get why he moved there the first place. Well, he did know. His younger brother, Sam, had been nagging on him as soon as he realized it looked like Lawrence. Dean on the other hand, didn't see why it was important to live in exactly _that _town. The town was incredible small. Not so small that everybody knew everything about each other, but small enough so people would find gossip one way or another.

Dean didn't decide that he would go to school right away, he actually hesitated. He had to work and look after Sam. But when Sam used his puppy-eyes and endless begging, Dean took a night-shift at a place called Bobby's where he helped his boss – Bobby Singer – to fix cars. Well, he actually just prepared them so that when Bobby arrived in the morning, he would be able to start working immediately.

The school was nothing Dean had gone to before. They used to live in big towns, and therefor he used to go to big schools. So when he walked through the doors and into the corridors, he felt strange. All eyes turned on him. Dean sighed. Sam and he had lived in a small town once before, and it ended up with Dean punching a guys nose in. Dean hadn't understood why he got expelled – he just defended his little brother. Sam had gotten pissed and didn't talk to him for a week. And then when Dean picked up Sam from school, he noticed a gang of boys beating on him. Dean had seen red and rushed to Sam's aid. After that, Sam didn't held any anger towards Dean, and they moved. Again.

Dean managed to find his way to the reception, and an old woman looked at him with a weird smile on her lips. He swallowed. Out of all things that scared him, horny cougars were one of the most scary. Especially when he had no intend to sleep with her. The woman's skin was almost gray, and her eyes were dusty. She had extremely red hair and she wore crescent-shaped glasses. Her smile got bigger the further Dean came to her.

He looked down at himself, trying to avoid the woman's eyes. His jeans were a bit saggy, and the sneakers worn out. His black shirt was covered by a green and unbuttoned shirt, and – of course – his brown leather jacket on top of it all. He also wore a necklace that Sam gave him many years ago. Dean didn't really knew what it was. He knew it was some sort of a head, but that was pretty much it.

"What can I help you with, boy?" the woman said with a sickly sweet voice. Dean could feel how the hair in his neck raised. He told the woman his name and she pulled out his schedule.

"Your first class is business. Down the hall, take a right and then a left. The room is A204." the woman said and winked at him. Dean covered his terrified facial with a blazing smile.

The class was nothing spectacular. Dean didn't really enjoy business. He liked the mechanic, where he could get all greasy and dirty, where his hands could feel useful. The only thing that caught his attention was the boy that sat next to him. When Dean had entered the room he didn't take notice in him at first, but when he started moving towards the back, he could see those eyes. Piercing blue, as if they could melt him to the ground. He had never seen such blue eyes in his life. The boy looked down at his desk and a small hint of red were visible on his cheeks. Dean sat down next to him and glanced at the boy through the class.

When the class ended, the boy with the blue eyes practically ran out. Dean raised his brows but he didn't put any energy on it. Instead he asked Mr. Evans – the teacher – where he could find his locker.

It was located in the next corridor, and when he arrived a girl smiled at him. Not one of those friendly smiles, more like I-will-sleep-with-you-and-then-kill-you-smile. Dean simply unlocked his locker and his nose wrinkled at the smell.

"Don't worry. With a dose of perfume you will get rid of it." the girl said. Dean nodded and glanced at the girl. She was staring at him, and she probably knew that Dean knew. She gave Dean a quick once-over and leaned on the locker next to his.

"I'm Meg. Meg Masters." the girl said. Her dark hair fell over her face and her dark eyes. Dean couldn't decide if they were brown or black.

"Dean Winchester."

"So, Dean Winchester. Does our school live up to your standards?" the girl asked. Dean shrugged.

"Don't really know yet. But as long as there's pie in the cafeteria, I'll be good." Dean said and smiled. Meg laughed, and it wasn't one of those evil laughs he had expected but a high and girlish one.

"There's pie, so don't worry." she answered. Dean said goodbye and walked to his next class. He wondered how many more would come up to him and flirt the first thing they did.


	3. Chapter 3

"What do you mean, it's full?"

Castiel stared at the woman behind the desk. Her name was Cindy Cooper, and she was a total bitch according to Castiel. Well, at least in that moment. During the day, he had realized there was something wrong with his new schedule. He was supposed to take an art class, but instead he was assigned something that was shortened as MEC. He had no clue what it was. So without any further of due, he had gone to the reception and hoping that it wouldn't take long to fix the problem.

"Exactly what I said, kiddo. The class is full."

Castiel didn't know what to say. His mouth were shaping words, but no sound was leaving it. He took a shaking breath and managed to use his voice.

"But I signed up for that class ages ago." he stuttered. Cindy shrugged.

"Well, these things happen. If you don't want to lose those points I suggest you suck it up and pretend that it's art." she replied. Castiel slowly walked away, not knowing how he should react. He didn't even know what the class was. He swallowed a desperate cry for help and started walking towards the classroom.

"You got to be kidding me!" exclaimed Castiel when he entered the room. Technically, it wasn't a room. It was a garage. In the middle of it all, a very old, dirty car was located. It had no wheels and no windshield. He grabbed his dark hair and pulled it gently. He didn't want to believe it. He sucked at mechanics. He also hated it. He was so getting an F. Castiel whined quietly and sat down on one of the chairs. He buried his face in his hands in the waiting of the teacher.

"...try your best. I know that not everybody has..."

Castiel listened to the teacher half-heartedly, still with his face hidden in his hands.

"Not your kind of amusement?"

Castiel looked up. He recognized Dean's face and frowned. Dean was smiling, and he had a bunch of wrinkles around his eyes that made the smile more genuine.

"What do you mean?" replied Castiel, still frowning. Dean shrugged and laughed.

"Don't take this the wrong way, but you kinda look like you rather would be someplace else." said Dean and sat down next to Castiel who snorted.

"That's because I want to. There's no point for me being here."

Dean looked at Castiel with a surprised look.

"Okey then. But you should try having fun, or else you're gonna ruin the party."

Castiel frowned even more by that statement.

"What party?"

Dean blinked a few times and then laughed. Oh. A joke. Castiel blushed. He reluctantly turned his attention towards the teacher who just had started talking about a project.

"...have to write an essay and learn how to fix up this beauty." he said and patted the car. The teacher grinned before he continued.

"Oh, and you will work in pairs."

Castiel sighed. He felt sorry for the one who was supposed to be- Oh, it was Dean. Castiel smiled apologetic and Dean just laughed. It was something different about that laugh than from any other Castiel had heard before. It had a musical tone to it.

"So, I'm stuck with Grumpy." said Dean and smiled. Castiel looked down at his feet. He wasn't grumpy.

"Dude, another joke." explained Dean and Castiel blushed. Again. He got the feeling that he would be doing that a lot in the next period of his life.

For the rest of the class, Dean tried to educate Castiel with the engine of the car. Even though Castiel tried to cover up that he didn't understand anything, Dean saw right through him. Castiel was impressed by Dean's patience and quickly decided to make an effort.

When they were dismissed, Castiel took a quick glance at Dean and was filled with pity. He felt sorry for him. Dean didn't know how unlucky he was to be in a group project with Castiel. But Castiel himself did, and he was going to keep it as simple as possible. So without saying anything to Dean, Castiel walked straight out to the corridors and away to his locker.


	4. Chapter 4

Dean walked around in the corridors without knowing where he was. He finally stopped and turned around a few times but he still couldn't figure out which way he was supposed to be going.

"Hey. Where are you heading?"

Dean turned his head to the left and his gaze landed on a boy with blue eyes. Dean shrugged.

"I have no clue."

The boy came closer and looked at the papers Dean was holding.

"D134. I'll show you." said the boy and started walking. Dean hesitated for a second but then followed.

"I'm putting my faith in you, stranger." he mumbled.

Dean made it to the classroom just in time. He thanked the boy – who was named Balthazar – in his mind for kindly showing him the way. He couldn't help but grin as he entered the room. He felt at home. An old car stood in the middle of the room, just waiting to be fixed. Dean's fingertips itched with excitement, and he eagerly made his way towards the rest of the class. He noticed one of the boys, who seemed to be on the edge of death. He was hiding his face in his hands, and it looked like his fingers were about to dig a whole into the skull.

"Hello. I'm Rufus Turner and I'll be your professor in MEC."

Dean turned his eyes towards the man now standing next to the car. Rufus started talking about the course and how not everybody had the talent or whatever. Dean didn't pay as much attention. He was almost worried about the boy next to him. He hadn't moved for ages.

"Not your kind of amusement?" Dean whispered to the boy and smirked. The boy lifted his head and Dean swallowed when he recognized him. It was the boy from Business. He had no clue what his name was.

"What do you mean?" the boy replied with a frown on his face. Dean shivered at the sound of the boys voice. It was dark and husky, and it was not what Dean had expected.

"Don't take this the wrong way, but you kinda look like you rather would be someplace else." said Dean and sat down on a chair next to the boy.

"That's because I want to. There's no point for me being here."

Dean lifted his brows for a short second and then laughed.

"Okey then. But you should try having fun, or else you're gonna ruin the party."

The boy looked confused.

"What party?"

Dean couldn't help but laugh. The boy either had a good but a little weird sense of humor, or no sense of humor at all.

"Oh, and you will work in pairs."

Dean glanced at the teacher and he could feel how his mood dropped. It was his first day at his new school, and he would have to work with a complete stranger?

But as it turned out, he would be working with the boy next to him.

"So, I'm stuck with Grumpy." said Dean and rolled his eyes when he saw that the boy actually became upset.

"Dude, another joke." he said and the boy blushed.

Dean tried his best at helping the boy during the class. He didn't know a shit about cars, but Dean was more than willing to take on the challenge. When they were dismissed, Dean remembered that he still didn't know the boys name. But he didn't had time to ask, since the boy rushed away. Again. Dean couldn't help but to feel bummed out.

He quickly shook off the fact that the boy seemed to hate him, and walked out of the garage-room-thingy. Dean didn't really know what to call it. He saw it as home, but he couldn't really walk around and call it his home. People would think he was crazy.

"I take it as you are Dean Winchester."

Dean jumped at the sound of a raucous voice. He turned his head and another boy faced him. A blonde girl and Meg stood behind him. Dean nodded towards the boy who smiled.

"I'm Crowley. I think you and I will be great friends, don't you?" said Crowley and glanced at the two girls who nodded. Dean didn't know how to react and just smiled. He had a feeling too, just the opposite of Crowley's.

"I've heard you have to work with Castiel on a project. You can't catch a break, huh?" Crowley continued. The laugh that followed was harsh and cruel. He started walking away and the girls followed. Meg's eyes lingered on his body, and he started to feel naked. He got the feeling that he just met the king of the school.

Dean found himself standing in the cafeteria and looked out over the sea of people. He had no idea where he wanted to sit. He could feel Crowley's eyes burning him but he completely ignored him. He sat at a huge table, with a bunch of jocks and cheerleaders as company. Even though Crowley looked like any other kid in the cafeteria, there was something about him. He was radiating evil and cruelty. Dean didn't want anything to do with him.

Dean then saw the boy with the blue eyes and quickly made his way towards him. He sat alone at one of the small tables in the back, poking in his food.

"Hi." said Dean and sat down next to the boy. He ignored the surprised look on his face.

"So, I think you know my name, but in case you don't, I'm Dean Winchester. And I didn't catch yours..." Dean babbled, hoping he didn't looked like a complete fool to this boy.

"I'm Castiel Novak." Dean raised his brows.

"Cool name. Odd, but cool." Dean hardly finished his sentence before Castiel interrupted him.

"Why are you doing this?"

Dean blinked. Had he been right? Did Castiel actually hate him already?

"I'm... I'm just trying to make new friends and..."

"Believe me when I say this. I'm not someone you want to be friends with." said Castiel with a hard voice. When he walked away, Dean followed him with his eyes. He couldn't ignore the broken tone in Castiel's voice. He also couldn't ignore that he had a feeling that Castiel was the only one he actually could imagine having as a friend.


	5. Chapter 5

Castiel 's mood became awful after his intercourse with Dean in the cafeteria. He had a feeling that he had pushed away the only person who would be able to consider Castiel as a friend. But he shoved that feeling away, told himself that _it was the best thing to do, Dean wouldn't want to be friends with a guy like me_ but it didn't really help.

When Castiel entered the corridors, those awful corridors, his gaze landed on the biggest fear of his life. Crowley. Castiel's heart started beating like a drum, and he didn't know what to do. He immediately turned his look down and walked away as fast as he could. He could feel Crowley's eyes linger on him, like a hawk does right before it snatches its prey. Castiel finally reached his locker and he was filled with relief. While leaning his head onto the cold metal he tried to calm himself down. It was odd, though. He usually didn't get as that far before -

"Well, hello there."

Castiel turned around and his heart almost smashed his ribs when he saw Crowley standing in front of him.

"Long time, no see. Right, Cassie?"

Castiel swallowed and held back the cry of fear that bubbled in his throat. A small amount of people had gathered around them. Castiel couldn't even think about it, he had all his attention on Crowley. His stomach twisted when a small grin appeared on Crowley's lips.

"So, what's up with the makeover?" said Crowley and made a gesture towards Castiel's clothes.

"You thought it would change this whole... situation, didn't you? Well, I've got news for you." Crowley continued and stepped closer to Castiel who hardly could breathe.

"It doesn't... change... a thing." The cold whisper gave Castiel goosebumps and made the hair in the back of his neck rise. Crowley laughed quietly before walking away. The crowd thinned out, and Castiel quickly found himself all alone in the corridor. With nothing but his thumping heart as company, he sank down on the floor and tried to hold back the tears.

Castiel tried to make himself invisible, but it didn't work. Everybody stared at him.

_That Guy is Crowley's bitch._

_That Guy probably thinks everything would change._

_That Guy doesn't get that he can't change history._

The voices hit the walls of his head so many times he started to think he was going to get bruises. To his surprise, he made through the day. But he left school in a much worse condition than what he used to.

"Hey, Castiel!"

Castiel didn't take notice in the voice shouting at him. He didn't want to hear any more taunts about him being a loser, a dick, a faggot...

"Hey, Castiel. Didn't you hear me?"

Castiel felt a warm hand on his shoulder and turned around. Dean was giving him a weird look. He couldn't really place the emotion behind it. Dean let go of Castiel and reached for his pocket. He pulled out a cellphone and smiled gently.

"I work at this place called Bobby's, a garage, and... Since you don't know much about cars, maybe you could stop by there tomorrow after school and I could teach you some." said Dean and waited. He didn't look as if he was done talking, so Castiel gave him a small nod.

"So, you know... If you could give me your phone number I can text you the address." he continued. Castiel frowned.

"I don't own a cellphone." he said. Dean looked at him and Castiel noticed his mouth was shaped as the letter O. The laugh that left Dean's mouth was hesitating but genuine.

"Okey, how about this. You give me your home number and I'll call you and let you know the address." Dean suggested. Castiel nodded and simply gave him the number. Dean's smiled obliquely and looked up at Castiel after saving the number in his phone.

"Thanks. I'll give you a call." he said and started to walk away. He then stopped and looked at Castiel. A small hint of worry was hidden in those green eyes.

Dean smiled and raised his hand towards Castiel whom nodded and couldn't help the small smile that came to life. While Dean walked away Castiel himself begin his short walk home and his head was filled with thoughts.

Why did Dean care?

Castiel could only come up with one conclusion.

He didn't care.


	6. Chapter 6

"Sammy!" shouted Dean as he walked through the front door of the apartment. He couldn't help but grumble while taking off his shoes and jacket. The apartment was ridiculously small. They didn't even have a proper hallway. A few meters in, you could see a small passage to the left where Dean's and Sam's bedroom was located. Dean walked straight forward and searched for Sam with his eyes. The living room slash the dining room was also very small, but hey – at least they had a TV. Dean then turned left and entering the kitchen where he found Sam on the phone.

"Well, yeah. I can do that. Anything to help."

Dean listened to Sam's voice while opening the fridge. He grabbed a piece of yesterdays pizza and shoved it in his mouth.

"Okay, see you tomorrow. Bye."

"Who was that?" asked Dean before Sam had the chance of hanging up. The face his little brother pulled made Dean frown. "Sam?"

Sam scratched his head.

"No one, really. By the way, how was school? I had a great..."

"Don't change the subject, Sammy." said Dean with annoyance in his voice. Sam muttered something and Dean simply raised his brows.

"Wow, don't make the neighbors angry with that loud voice of yours." he replied. Sam rolled his eyes before slowly opening his mouth.

"It was Bobby."

Dean had a hint of what Sam had been talking to Bobby about, but he wanted to hear it from Sam.

"What did you talk about?"

Sammy looked half angry and half terrified.

"Don't get all angry now, Dean. I called to..."

"To make sure you can work there as well." The guilt that covered Sam's face made Dean understand he had hit his head on the nail. He angrily slammed his fist into the counter.

"Son of a bitch! You got school, Sam! Call Bobby and say that it won't work out." Dean practically yelled at Sam, and he couldn't ignore the bitch face he was given.

"You got school too. I won't work on the cars, and it's not like I'm doing this for free. I'm helping out, and there's nothing you can do to stop me." said Sam and walked away. Dean swore loudly and the words were not from his nice vocabulary. Finally Dean settled down a bit, and threw himself on the couch next to Sam. They watched some stupid Spanish soap opera, and the tension between the brothers were touchable.

"Bitch." mumbled Dean.

"Jerk." Sam responded with a smirk.

_Line break_

"Hello?"

Dean jumped at the sound of Castiel's voice. He had remembered – a miracle – to call Castiel with the address of Bobby's place and he quickly found himself in the kitchen trying to get a hold of Castiel.

"Hi Castiel. It's Dean. Dean Winchester." Dean added the last sentence in case Castiel didn't remember him.

"Hello Dean."

Dean smiled.

"I said I would give you a call, so..." When Dean didn't get any response he cleared his throat.

"Okay, so can you swing by Bobby's tomorrow at... I don't know, maybe four?" asked Dean and it didn't take long before Castiel responded with a simple yes. Dean then gave Castiel the address and hung up. It was by far the shortest conversation he ever had over the phone.

_Line break_

Dean was leaning in over the hood of a rusty old car and eyed the engine. He had grease and oil on his hands, and sweat ran down his neck. He was wearing a pair of jeans and a navy blue t-shirt. His necklace gently bobbled in the air and hit Dean in the chest from time to time.

"Move, fatass." Dean couldn't help but pushing his butt as far out as he could. Sam said some well chosen words before hitting him hard in the lower part of his back. Dean grunted and stood up, holding his hand over the now sore part of his body. Sam smirked evil and swept the broom over the floor with an innocent look on his face. Dean glared at Sam who stuck his tongue out.

"Yeah, keep doing that and I'll cut it off." said Dean and waved with a sharp tool of his. He then pointed his attention to the engine. Well, at least for a short amount of time.

"Hello Dean."

Castiel's voice was shockingly close and Dean stood up with his heart thumping like crazy.

"Dude, do not do that." he said and Catiel gave him a look that clearly stated that he didn't know what Dean was talking about.

"You need to make your presence revealed without scaring the shit out of people."

Cas blushed and Dean smiled. He grabbed a towel and tried to get the most of the dirt of his hands before making a gesture towards the small office in the corner of the garage. There Dean found Bobby, looking through a bunch of books. Dean laughed.

"You really need to get yourself a new computer, Bobby." The look that was given to Dean clearly showed how much Bobby cared for Dean's opinion. Dean shrugged and nodded towards Castiel.

"This is Castiel Novak. I'll be teaching him some stuff here from time to time, if that's okay with you." Dean said and Bobby nodded.

"I'm Bobby Singer. Listen to Dean, because I don't want to be the one handling with the paperwork that will come if you chop off a finger." Bobby grunted. Dean shook his head and lead Castiel out in the garage again.

"Charming man." he simply said.

"I don't know if I can agree with that."

Dean laughed loudly.

"Come on, let's get started."


	7. Chapter 7

**AN: **_well, hello my lovely readers! It's an amazing feeling to know that people actually read and like what I write, so I just thought I'd say thank you. I realize my chapters aren't as neatly edited, and I'm sorry for that. I'm still trying to figure out how this site works. I also apologize if I have spelled something wrong or not used the proper grammar. Let me know if I've done something wrong._

_This is a long chapter, but I hope you enjoy it!_

Castiel had changed back to his former self the next day. He had put on a dark pair of jeans and a black hoodie. He wanted to be unknown again, be invisible. But as soon as he entered the school walls, he got a feeling that it might just gotten worse. Whisperers followed him around, everywhere he went.

_I can't believe That Guy._

_Really? Did That Guy really go back to whatever he was?_

_He's such a loser!_

Castiel tried to ignore the words, but of course he couldn't. Instead he shoved them back into the box inside his head, the one that he kept locked all time. The one that was filled with pain and sorrow.

But Castiel made it until lunch without a meltdown. It was just like before the summer. Nobody cared about him, and he didn't care about anyone. He sat alone in every class, and he sat alone in the cafeteria. He buried himself in his books. The only things he saw the whole day was books, teachers and the floor.

And ,unfortunately, Crowley.

After lunch Castiel had had mathematics, which he practically loved. Especially algebra. It was like a language he understood as well as english, a language nobody else could understand as well as him. He almost felt happy when he left the classroom.

That feeling quickly went away when he saw Crowley standing at his locker, waiting for him.

"Hi there." His voice was dripping in expectation and cruelty. Castiel could feel his knees shiver but he tried his best to cover it. Crowley glanced at Castiel's knees and smiled. He saw the fear in Castiel's eyes and he enjoyed it. If Castiel weren't so terrified he would feel disgusted.

"Did you really think... I mean, did you really think... That you could erase yesterday?" Crowley almost sounded angry, but his face witnessed of an enormous joy. Castiel swallowed and he saw how Crowley stared at his adam's apple.

"Are you really that stupid, you faggot?" Crowley whispered and walked towards Castiel. He stopped when he was a few inches away from Castiel's face and looked him right in the eyes. Castiel pulled his gaze from Crowley and looked to the crowd for help. He was surrounded by people, but no one seemed willing to give him a hand. Castiel almost whimpered.

"I don't understand. You show up, all different. Thinking everything would change. But when I confront you about it..." said Crowley and walked away from Castiel, turning his back on him. Castiel cast a glance on his surrounding, trying to find an escape.

"You go back to who you used to be. You're nothing but a loser, who can't even stand up for himself." Crowley said and turned around. He had that awful smile on his lips, that made Castiel's stomach ache.

"You, my dear friend. You are nothing."

_Line break_

Everything was silent. Nobody was home except Castiel. He was sitting on the edge of his bed, doing nothing but staring into thin air. He didn't really see anything, as his mind was caught up in the past. He wore nothing but a pair of pajama pants. His hair was wet, and his hands were holding on to his knees for dear life. The bruises on his stomach were sore, and did nothing but remind Castiel of the dreadful day. Reminded him of how his life used to be, how it was, and how it always would be.

He dragged a finger over one of the blue areas of his body and remembered the pain when Crowley had hit him. Castiel closed his eyes.

_The pain rushed through Castiel's body with an outrageous speed. Crowley's fist hit him in the stomach once again, causing a new shock wave of pain. Castiel bent over and gasped for air. He saw the well-known fist of Crowley hitting him in the chest and his sight got blurry. He felt the coldness of the floor when he hit it, but he still couldn't see. Something hit him in the stomach again, and Castiel dragged his knees towards his face. It stopped for a while, but then something hit him in his back. It felt like a foot. Castiel grimaced and his body twisted in pain. The hallway was dead silent. Or, Castiel just didn't hear anything. He could see the contours of Crowley as he kneed before him._

"_Remember that, Castiel. You are nothing."_

Castiel opened his eyes and blinked away the tears that had been gathering in his eyes. He looked quickly at the clock and stood up. A small amount of pain flowed through his body but not a single emotion showed on his face. He had learned to hide the pain many years ago. When Castiel got dressed he couldn't help but to feel a piece of joy that Crowley hadn't punched him in the face. That would be harder to cover up. Castiel twitched when the fabric of the black tank top touched his body. It felt weird. He pulled the black hoodie he wore before over his head and had to stop, gasping for air. A few minutes later he could pull on a pair of black jeans, but with difficulties.

His body ached when he left his house. When the clock had struck half past three, Castiel had grabbed his keys and left. He had told Dean that he would show up, and Castiel didn't want to back down. The walk to the garage was hard, but Castiel got used to the pain and could almost hide it completely when he saw Dean.

"Hello Dean." said Castiel, glancing over Dean's back at the engine he was working on. Dean jumped and almost hit his head against the hood.

"Dude, do not do that." said Dean and Castiel raised his eyebrows. What had he done?

"You need to make your presence revealed without scaring the shit out of people." said Dean after a short glance at Castiel's face. A hint of warmth spread over Castiel's cheeks. He followed Dean and got introduced to a man named Bobby, who Castiel took as the owner of the garage. The man was a bit old, but seemed friendly. Well, until he spoke to Castiel.

"I'm Bobby Singer. Listen to Dean, because I don't want to be the one handling with the paperwork that will come if you chop off a finger."

Castiel hadn't responded, and followed Dean back out.

"Charming man." said Dean simply.

"I don't know if I can agree with that." Castiel responded and the laugh he was rewarded with was one of a kind. It was filled with genuine happiness, and it made Castiel shiver when he realized that he was the one who – apparently – had been funny.

"Come on, let's get started."

_Line break_

he fuel pump. If it doesn't work, the car won't work." said Dean and pointed at something. Castiel frowned. He was standing on the side of the car, on Dean's right side. He didn't understand anything that Dean learned him. He tried to fill his head with the information but it just vanished. Castiel confessed to Dean who laughed.

"I know the feeling. But don't let it get to you. This is advanced stuff. It takes time and repetition to remember it all." he replied with a smile. Castiel nodded. Dean dove back in under the hood and started poking on the so called fuel pump.

"Oh my god, Dean! Move your ass or I'll hit you again!"

Castiel blinked a few times and looked at the person standing on Dean's left side. It was a younger boy, with similar features as Dean. The boy blushed when he noticed Castiel. Dean on the other hand had jumped at the sound of the boy's voice and hit his head on the hood.

"Son of a bitch!" he screamed and rubbed the back of his head and turning to the boy.

"God dammit, Sam." he muttered and turned his attention towards the car again.

"By the way, this is Castiel. Castiel, this annoying little brat is my brother Sam." said Dean and Sam smiled after punching Dean. He walked towards Castiel and reached out his hand.

"Hi. I'm Sam Winchester."

"I'm Castiel Novak." Castiel replied and smiled. Even though Sam looked a lot like Dean, Castiel had a feeling that they were very different.

"Your brother is teaching me understand how cars function and how to repair it if it breaks down." Castiel continued, letting go of Sam's hand.

"Well, I guess you find the right guy. Nobody knows more about cars than Dean. Apart from Bobby." said Sam and walked away with a gentle smile.

Castiel glanced at Dean who was practically staring at him with a slight worry in his eyes. Castiel turned his whole body towards Dean who then looked away.

"So, uhm... Are you hungry?"

_Line break_

Castiel couldn't ignore the look Dean was giving him. He didn't think he meant to stare. It wasn't the whole staring-thing that made Castiel uncomfortable. He was used to people staring. It was the worry in Dean's eyes that made him uneasy.

"Why do you stare at me like that, Dean?" Castiel asked and looked into Dean's green eyes. Dean himself blushed and mumbled something. Castiel sighed and looked down at his sandwich. Dean had given it to him with a bottle of water, and they sat on the hood of the car. Castiel felt a tension in the air and he wished he hadn't spoke.

"I heard what happened in school."

Castiel almost choked. That was not what he expected. He had figured that Dean would find out what had happened sooner or later, but since Dean hadn't spoke of it Castiel thought he didn't know. He was caught off guard.

Castiel didn't say anything. He didn't know what he was supposed to say.

"I heard of it in my math class. That girl Meg wouldn't shut up about it." Dean continued.

Castiel felt a small disgust in his stomach. Sure, Meg was one of those who made his life miserable, but she wasn't someone Castiel was terrified of. She wasn't Crowley.

"I'm sorry." said Dean suddenly and Castiel turned his face towards him. Dean was looking down at his knees and he was opening and closing his mouth as if he didn't know how to speak.

"I wish I was there. I wish I could have done something to stop them. I wish..." Dean's voice faded. Castiel was moved, and he didn't know how to respond to that. He chose to smile and lay a hand on Dean's shoulder.

"You couldn't have done anything, but I appreciate the thought."

Dean looked at him and smiled. Castiel had to admit that even though he tried to keep Dean out of the pathetic thing that was called his life, Dean wouldn't let it go that easy.


	8. Chapter 8

**AN: **_I have something planned for you guys! So be prepared for a bit of angst, sadness and a bit of violence in the next chapter._

_This chapter though, is pretty simple. Nothing special really. There is smut in the end, sort of._

_Enjoy!_

A few weeks passed and Dean almost felt as if Castiel had acknowledge him as a friend. He wasn't completely sure if it was because his breakdown where he practically screamed at Castiel, saying that he was the one who decided who his friends were going to be.

Their so called friendship didn't go unnoticed either. Dean started to hear confused whisperers and he always had a couple of eyes on him.

He had also found out why Castiel was the punching bag of the school. He was the only one – at least the only one who had let the world know – who was homosexual. Gay. Queer. Homo. Fag. Dean had never understood the reason of placing sexuality in different folders. It always came down to two people being attracted to each other, and there was no reason to hating them for that.

Dean himself wasn't fully straight. He had had a few guy-on-guy actions, but he never had sex with a guy. He hadn't felt enough attracted to the guys that he had found, and never wanted to take that small step with them.

_**Line break**_

Dean stood next to Castiel and leaning towards one of the lockers. Castiel was searching for something in his bag and muttering in anger.

"Take it easy, Castiel. You've got..." Dean paused and glanced at the clock. "...ten minutes until mec starts."

Castiel's muttering grow louder and Dean laughed. Castiel finally found what he was looking for. A small journal. It looked well used and pretty old. Before Dean could ask what it was, he heard a familiar voice behind his back.

"Hi there."

Castiel's face turned pale white and his eyes were nailed at an object behind Dean's back. Dean turned around to face the person behind him who he knew was Crowley. He didn't have the small grin on his lips as usual, and he was eyeing Dean with a small hint of shock etched on his face.

"It looks like you've chosen the wrong team here, Dean." he simply said. Dean looked at the girls behind Crowley. Meg had her arms crossed and she looked kind of disappointed. The blonde girl called Ruby looked like she could rip his head of in pure rage. Dean held back a grimace before returning his attention to Crowley. He raised his eyebrows in slight surprise.

"This..." said Crowley and made a gesture towards the shaking Castiel, "is not the kind of person you want to become friends with."

Dean couldn't help but smile. When were people going to understand that it was he who chose his friends, not anybody else?

"Oh, yeah? Why's that?" replied Dean provocatively. It was Crowley's turn to look surprised.

"He's a loser, a nobody. He's _gay_."

Dean frowned.

"You say that as if it's a bad thing."

Dean then turned around and smiled at Castiel who looked slight surprised. They both walked away and Dean couldn't help but feel proud of himself. He had showed the people in this town that he wasn't like them. He didn't judge people by their covers, but on who they were.

When they were about to enter the classroom, Castiel grabbed Dean's arm.

"Dean, you do know what I'm... gay, right? And it's okay for you?" he asked and he seemed afraid to know the answer.

Dean frowned.

"Yeah. Why wouldn't it be?"

That wasn't fair. Castiel couldn't smile at him like that, not never. But Dean still felt like he was floating on clouds when he left the school that day.

_**Line break**_

_The muscles in Dean's body tightened by a small fear. He couldn't focus his gaze on anything. His hands were clueless, until they touched a surface that was cold and smooth. Dean relaxed and looked at the arm he was holding. A few tendons were visible. Dean followed them up with his fingertips and his gaze followed his movements. He reached a muscular shoulder, and he then hit against a sharp jaw line. His hand stopped but his eyes kept on moving. He caressed every curve of the face with his gaze and he slowly made his way toward the other persons eyes._

_They were piercing blue and strikingly beautiful. Castiel looked at him with such longing, such lust, that Dean shivered. He raised his other hand and placed it on Castiel's cheeks. Slowly, he leaned towards Castiel, giving him a chance to back down. But to Dean's delight, he stayed put._

_When their lips met, Dean thought he would burst into flames. The feeling was unbelievable. The taste – oh god the taste – of Castiel's lips made him hungry for more. He pulled Castiel closer, but gently so that he wouldn't turn away. Dean pressed his tongue against Castiel's teeth and moaned when he was given entrance._

_Dean stroke Castiel's tongue gently at first, but when his hunger grew even stronger he moved with a lot bigger confidence. His body was moving against Castiel's in the rhythm of the tongues, creating a terrific friction that made Dean moan once more. He then started to move his hands down on Castiel's back while deepening the kiss. He pressed his fingers towards the back and he thought he would die out of pure pleasure when Castiel finally moaned._

_Castiel's hand was tracing the fabric on Dean's shirt and started to unbutton it. Dean followed his example and when they both were lacking a layer of clothing, Dean pressed his body against Castiel's._

_He could feel Castiel's heart beat against his lower chest. They broke the kiss to gasp for air, and stood there. Dean couldn't remember a time where he had been happier then what he was now._

_Castiel then started to place small kisses all over Dean's chest. It was like small sparks of fire on his skin. Dean closed his eyes and tried to force himself to remember every single piece of the moment._

_But when Castiel gently bit his left nipple, he opened his eyes and grabbed Castiel's hips. He was tired of waiting. He knew what he wanted, and he was pretty sure Castiel wanted the same._

_Dean placed a hungry kiss that was full of passion on Castiel's lips, and he seemed to get the message. They started to pull at each others clothes, desperate to explore more of the others body. Dean tugged at Castiel's pants, walking backwards. He hit a bed and fell on his back with Castiel laying on top of him. When he could feel Castiel's hands tracing ons his thighs he shivered in excitement. Dean reached for Castiel's belt and quickly pulled it off. The button opened just as easily. The fly was a little bit more troubling, and Dean took the chance to stroke Castiel through the fabric._

_The sound Castiel let out was hardly human. It was pure lust and passion, and almost made Dean come. He then felt a hand on his own limb, making him twitch. He finally managed to get Castiel's fly open, and began to pull the pants down. Castiel broke away from the kiss and removed his shoes, socks and pants. He threw of Dean's shoes and socks in the haste, and then laid on top of Dean once more._

_Dean dug his fingers into Castiel's back, and Castiel stroke Dean's thigh with a firm grip. They exchanged moans and without realizing it, their hips had began to move in circles. The friction made them both shiver._

_Dean slowly reached one hand towards Castiel's boxers, and was given a loud moan in his right ear. His whole body twitched at the feeling of –_

"Hey, Dean! Did you want any breakfast or not?!"

Dean woke up with a heart beating way too fast. It didn't take long before the dream sank in to his mind and he angrily put a pillow over his head.

"Leave me alone!" he screamed as a response to Sam.


	9. Chapter 9

**AN: **_so this might not be the best work I've ever done, but I decided to skip a bit of the boring school-thingy and get to the part I actually have had planned for a while. I also have a few plans for the next chapters, so you can expect chapters coming out practically daily. Anyway, thank you so much for the reviews! They make me all warm and fuzzy inside._

Castiel found himself in a small boutique with Dean after a short day at school. They had both gotten off early and decided to take a tour in the town. Dean said that he hadn't had much time to explore the city because of the school and his job. Dean was supposed to work at the garage in the night, but when Bobby noticed how tired Dean got he changed the arrangement. Dean now worked in the afternoon and got payed better so that he wouldn't lose any money on the loss of hours.

Castiel was looking at a pair of old glasses when Dean laid a hand on his shoulder. The huge grin Dean had on his lips which made Castiel frown. He then saw a clothing in Dean's other hand. He gave it to Castiel who grabbed it curiously.

"Try it on." said Dean and even though he tried to hide his excitement, Castiel sensed it. He unfolded the beige clothing and he realized it was a trench coat. Castiel wasn't really into trench coats, but it was something special about that one. It was smooth, and once he had pulled it on, he felt safe. He looked at himself in a mirror for a short period of time, and then turned to Dean who was still grinning.

"It suits you." he said as a response to Castiel's questioning expression.

"Really?" replied Castiel, turning back to the mirror. He saw Dean's face in the background and he blushed when he recognized a hint of seriousness and something else that made his stomach feel weird.

"Yeah. It's very... you." said Dean and laughed.

_**Line break**_

Castiel was almost happy the next day. He was sitting at home and admiring his new trench coat. The shop owner had told him that it would be best if he washed the coat and letting it dry in fresh air before using it, so Castiel had done just that. His schoolbag was laying next to him and his journal had slipped out of it. He moved his gaze from the coat to the journal and picked it up. He slowly stroked it before opening it, something he always did. It was packed with pictures and short sentences. A family photo was glued on to the first page. His father, his mother and his sister. Castiel stroked his index finger over his sister. Her smile was radiant as the sun and her red hair was glowing. He remembered the feeling when he realized he never would see her again. The feeling he got when her mother told him that she was dead.

Castiel slowly closed the journal and put it back in the bag. He then glanced at the clock and decided he should get moving. He was supposed to meet Dean at the garage again. Castiel felt how the curiosity grew stronger in his chest while he left his house. Dean had sent a text message earlier that day, saying that he had a surprise for Castiel. He had tried to figure out what kind of surprise it would be for the whole day. He had a few guesses and one of them was a wish. Something he knew never would happen.

The coldness in the air made him shiver. He was wearing a pair of khakis and a black shirt, and a thicker, dark jacket. The winter was on its arrival and Castiel didn't really know what he thought of it. He didn't really enjoy the whole Christmas and New Years Eve thing, but he did like winter itself. It was his favorite season.

The walk to the garage made Castiel feel at peace. It was a bit long, but he could let his mind go blank and just watch the surrounding. He had the forest on his right side and he had always been drawn to it. It seemed magical. As if everything beautiful came from there. He also enjoyed the different shades of the colors, especially the green ones. He had a favorite, but he hadn't found it there yet.

Castiel suddenly got a feeling that he was being followed and peeked over his shoulder. He saw a guy with dark clothes, gloves, black hair and brown eyes staring at him. Castiel turned his eyes forward and walked faster. He had a feeling that he had seen the guy before, but it didn't make him feel any better. He turned his head down and he didn't see much than his own feet. He was walking ridiculously fast when he glanced back again. The guy was still following him. For all that time, Castiel hadn't completely panicked. But when his eyes were set on the person in front of him, he believed that his heart stopped.

"Hi there."


	10. Chapter 10

**AN: **_I apologize. I was supposed to have written a tenth chapter this sunday and post it exactly at 12pm at monday, but I didn't have the time... so you'll be getting it now! And the reviews you guys... thank you!_

_This a pretty long chapter compared to the previous ones, just so you know. And everybody seems to panic at the stalker-thing too, I really don't know why. I guess you'll have to read to find out what's going to happen..._

Dean was whistling while working on a car. It was a BMW, and a black one. Most people would have loved to touch it, but Dean didn't like those kind of cars. He didn't like those fancy, luxurious and expensive cars. He liked those that had memories and meaning in the trunk. Unfortunately, Dean hadn't seen those kinds in a while.

He wiped a stripe of sweat of his forehead and looked up at the sky. The sun wasn't very warm, but when you were working on a car you usually got pretty damn hot. At least Dean did.

He glanced at the door of the garage and his gaze landed on Sam. He was standing next to Bobby, crouching over a car. It hadn't taken long before Bobby insisted on teaching Sam a few stuff and Dean hardly protested at the idea.

The jacket Sam was wearing made Dean doze off. It was in a shade of brown that reminded him of Castiel's new trench coat. It was Dean who had found it. He stood up and cleaned his hands against his gray shirt and smiled. The look on Castiel's face when he had put the coat on was unforgetable.

"Dean! Get over here!"

Dean frowned and pulled back to reality at the sound of Bobby's voice. He quickly did as Bobby wanted. Dean hadn't work at the garage for long, but he had noticed that it was better to do as he was told when it came to Bobby.

Dean took a short look at Sam who mumbled something in concentration when he reached them and then looked at Bobby. He made a gesture to make Dean follow him, which – of course – he did. He took Dean to the back of the garage and stopped in front of a car with a sheet over it. Dean frowned and glanced at Bobby who had a stupid grin on his face.

"I got a new project for you." he simply said and walked towards the car. He pulled the sheet off and Dean gasped for air.

What. A. _Beauty_.

It was a black Chevrolet, with black seats and beige interior. To any other person it probably would have looked like any old car, but Dean saw a spark in it. He slowly walked up to the car without knowing it, and he just had to touch it. He had to admit that the car looked really good, and he didn't really understand why it was at the garage. He turned to Bobby with the question written on his face and Bobby shrugged.

"It's nothing wrong, actually. Well, there's one major thing. The engine is..." Bobby didn't end his sentence. Instead he opened the hood and Dean felt his jaw drop.

"Oh crap!" he exclaimed out of terror. The engine was hardly existing. It was there, but it was so damaged Dean didn't know if it was fixable. But then he felt a motivation run through his veins. He was going to make the car proper if it was the last thing he did. Bobby must have seen it on his facial because he laughed.

"Oh and, by the way. When you've fixed it... It's yours."

Dean spun around and stared at Bobby. He tried to protest but the shock made his tongue disobey. Bobby grinned and walked away, leaving Dean with his stuttering. The truth was Dean didn't want to be able to talk. He wanted the car to be his. He turned back to the engine and leaned over it.

"What the hell, Castiel and I might work on this together."

_**Line break**_

Dean worked on the car for an hour and a half without realizing what the time was. He had quickly sent a text to Castiel – who had finally bought himself a phone – after his meeting with the car and said he had a surprise. As soon as Dean had gotten the idea that they could fix the car together, he couldn't hold himself back. Castiel would get off school at half four, and then walk to the garage at four. As always.

Dean on the other hand had left school a long time ago. He had walked straight to the garage at two, just because he had no other place to go. Sam had joined him at three.

But when his stomach started to growl, he had put down his tools and glanced at the clock. He blinked a few times when he realized it was half past four. Castiel would arrive any minute. Dean walked to the office and opened the fridge, just to remember that he had forgotten to bring food.

"Third shelf." said Sam behind him and Dean had to bend down to find the small box with his name on it.

"Thanks, Sam." replied Dean and opened the box. When he saw what food he had gotten he simply put it on the table and walked towards Sam, giving him a big hug.

"Thanks, Sam." he said again and Sam grunted.

"It's just pie, Dean."

Dean then let him go and frowned at him.

"It's never just pie, Sam. This is food for Gods." said Dean and grinned. Sam simply rolled his eyes and walked away.

Dean took his time eating the pie – that was absolutely delicious, it was a mixture of different berries – and then just sat and enjoyed the feeling when he was done. He then sighed and stood up. He took another look at the clock and felt a sting in his stomach when he saw the time. It was pointing at the two and five, and Castiel should had arrived by now.

Dean left the office and searched for Bobby. He was tutoring Sam again and didn't even look up when Dean showed up next to him.

"Have any of you seen Castiel?"

That made them turn their attention towards him. The both shook their heads and Dean could see a hint of worry on Sam's face. Even Bobby looked baffled. It normally would take forty minutes from Castiel's house to the garage, if you were a slow walker. Castiel had left for seventy minutes ago.

"Maybe he got held up at home." Sam's statement sounded more like a question, but Dean pulled out his phone out of his pocket to see if he had gotten a text. He hadn't. If something would have made Castiel unable to leave, Dean liked to believe that he would have let him know.

"Call him." Sam didn't even have to say anything, Dean was already doing it. He walked around and felt two pair of eyes burning on his back, and that only made him more anxious. He didn't even know why. Castiel might not wanted to spend the afternoon at the garage, and his phone might have died. But Dean couldn't shake off the feeling in his stomach, telling him that something was horribly wrong.

"You've reached the voice mail of..." _Beep. _"I don't understand. Why, why do you want me to say my name?"

Dean hanged up and quickly called Castiel's home number. No answer there either. He dragged a hand over his face and made a decision.

"Okay, something's not right. I'll walk the same way Castiel does and look for him. You keep calling and try to get a hold of him." said Dean and reached out a hand towards Sam who understood. He gave Dean his cellphone and when he got it back, both numbers that Dean had that belonged to Castiel was saved in it. Dean didn't wait for any response. He grabbed his leather jacket and left.

_**Line break**_

_It's probably nothing. He just... he is just sick. Or tired. Or he didn't want to hang out with me._

The last part of Dean's thought stung a little, but he ignored it.

_And his cellphone broke. And so did his other phone._

He knew it was stupid, but he had to settle his nerves somehow. The air was biting him and made his cheeks go red. His lips were a bit blue and his hands were shoved down his pockets. He moved his head around and looked everywhere. His neck was getting sore, but he ignored the nagging pain. The darkness made him uncomfortable, and the forest on his left didn't exactly help.

Dean stopped moving in the middle of a step. It was like someone had punched him in his throat and he couldn't breathe anymore. He slowly took his hands out of his pockets and pulled a shaky breath. He was feeling sick. His knees were shaking so hard he almost fell to the ground. His mouth tasted weird. His hands were clenching to make them stop shaking. His lips parted in shock and the air leaving turned into a small cloud.

He moved in slow motion. It was like a nightmare where you couldn't move fast enough. He couldn't even feel the anger inside of him, because the panic was taking all the space.

When he stopped he fell onto his knees and lifted his hands gently. Dean wished he could make them stop moving so much, but he couldn't control them.

His eyes widen as his gaze fell on the body in front of him. The boy's clothes were dirty and wrinkled. His black hair was a mess, small branches and leaves were sticking out of it. His whole body was still, and his chest was hardly moving. He was laying on his side in fetal position, and he was facing the ground.

Dean laid a hand on the boy's shoulder and braced himself of what he was going to see. But when he slightly pushed the boy so his face was revealed, Dean almost threw up.

Castiel's face was covered in small wounds and bruises. He even had a black eye.

Dean pulled out his phone out of his pocket after a few failed tries, and pressed three simple numbers. It didn't take long before someone answered.

"Nine-one-one, what is your emergency?"

Dean laid a hand on his forehead and tried to keep his voice steady, but he failed.

"I... I found a friend of mine in the forest. He didn't show up, so I walked, and he's here and I just... I just..." The panic started bubbling in his chest.

"It's okay, take a deep breathe and try to explain."

Dean did as the female voice said and raised his voice one more time.

"My friend didn't show up today so I searched for him. I found him in the forest and he's been beaten up and he's not awake." The words he said made him realize the situation he was in and he started shaking uncontrollably.

"Okay, do you know where you are?"

Dean nodded.

"Yeah, I uh... On Fourt Main." he replied and the female told him that the police and ambulance was on their way. Oddly, that didn't make it easier for him.

"But he's not... He's hardly breathing!" he burst out. The female then told him to put the speaker on so that he would be able to preform CPR. Dean had learned it a few years back, but he didn't remember a thing. But he didn't have to do anything in particular, he just had to made sure Castiel's trachea was clear and that he didn't choke on his tongue. Dean noticed that the breathing became a little less strained after a while and it made him relax a bit.

He just sat there, with the female talking to him and tried to keep him calm, until the paramedics arrived.

_**Line break**_

"So you don't know what happened?"

Dean had his face buried in his hands and felt the anger building up inside of him.

"No, I told you! I just found him." he replied and he guessed his irritation was leaking through his voice because the police officers left. Sam was sitting next to him, incredibly stiff, with a hand on Dean's shoulder.

Dean himself didn't dare to move his face from his hands. He didn't want to see the dirt on his clothes, the rest of the people in the waiting room... He didn't want to see anything, afraid that the event would sink in to his mind.

After the paramedics had arrived, they had taken Castiel with them to the hospital. Dean had come with and had called Sam with a short explanation about what happened. It hadn't taken long before he and Bobby joined Dean at the hospital.

The whole not-knowing-thing made Dean go crazy. Nobody had told him anything about Castiel, and the police had been bugging him with questions for ten minutes. Dean's right leg started shaking. He just wanted to know that Castiel was...

"Dean Winchester?"

Dean jumped and looked up from his hands. A middle-aged male doctor was standing in front of him, and Dean nodded as a response.

"We had to operate on Castiel." The man sensed Dean's worry and quickly continued. "He is fine, it was just a badly broken rib that had to be put in place. He is resting now, and you may see him."

Dean stood up and Sam followed his example. Bobby walked up to them with a cup of coffee in his hand and they all followed the doctor through a few corridors to room 43.

"We'll wait outside." said Bobby and Dean nodded. He could feel the sorrow building up in his chest. He slowly walked in to the dark room and closed the door behind him. Castiel was laying on a bed with a few tubes stuck in him. At least he was breathing on his own. Dean didn't see if he was awake.

He slowly sat down on the bed next to Castiel. His eyes were closed. Dean gently grabbed his hand and twitched when Castiel opened his eyes.

"Hello Dean." he said and his voice was far more raspy than usual. Dean couldn't help but smile at Castiel.

"Hi Castiel. How are you doing?"

Castiel smiled back, and Dean felt as if a weight left his shoulders when he realized the smile didn't hide any pain.

"Could have been better. But I'm fine, now that I'm not alone." The statement washed Dean's smile right off.

"But your parents..."

"Out on business." said Castiel, cutting him off. His smile had vanished at the blink of a second.

"And I'm not important enough to make them come home."

Dean tightened his grip around Castiel's hand.

"Yeah, well... I'm here. And I always will be. No matter if you like it or not."

Castiel pulled a deep breath and his eyes seemed to sparkle.

"Thank you. I don't think I would manage to be alone right now."

The pain in Castiel's voice made Dean break. Tears started pouring down his face, and without realizing why, he had laid down beside Castiel. Dean didn't care that he actually was crying for the first time in about seven years, he only cared about the feeling he got when Castiel was comforting him.


	11. Chapter 11

**AN: **_i'm so sorry! I know I said that it will be daily updates, but... I have just realized that it isn't much left of the story to be told, nd I just want it to end perfectly. This chapter is embarrassingly short, but hopefully next one will be better. Thank you all for reading this crappy fanfic._

Castiel grabbed the blanket that was wrapped around him and pulled it up to his cheeks. He wasn't cold really, he just enjoyed the feeling. As if he was protected from all evil.

He was laying in Dean's bed. He still felt guilty about it, since Dean had to sleep on the small couch in the living room. But Dean had insisted on it.

The reason that Castiel was in the Winchester's house was that otherwise Castiel would have been completely alone in his enormous house with nothing but fear in his mind.

When Dean had found out that Castiel would go back to his empty house when he left the hospital, he had frowned so hard Castiel thought he would get wrinkles in less than two seconds.

"But your parents should come home!"

And when Castiel had explained that his mom and dad had business to take care of, Dean had seemed understanding and a bit sad. Dean had then proposed that Castiel would live with Sam and himself. Castiel didn't hesitate on saying yes. He didn't think he would have made it being all by himself.

Castiel shuddered when the bedroom door slowly opened and a small breeze of cold air came flying through the room. He glanced over the blanket and his gaze landed on Dean. His smile was gentle and he stayed put in the door opening.

"It's okay, Dean. I won't freak out."

Dean laughed and walked up to the bed. He sat down next to Castiel and eyed his face.

"So, how are you doing today?" he said with the worry dripping through his voice. Castiel gave Dean a crooked smile before answering.

"Better than yesterday."

"And your ribs?"

Castiel rolled his eyes before answering the other question.

"Better. And there's no need for any of your other questions. I'm fine, Dean." he said and sat up. He grimaced when a small wave of pain rushed through his body and simply waved away the helping hand Dean wanted to give.

"So... I got school today." Dean said after a while and Castiel froze. The weekend was over, and the Monday had arrived sooner than pleased. Both Sam and Dean had to leave for school, and Castiel would be left alone. Castiel knew that Dean much rather would have stayed with him and keep an eye on him, but he had insisted on Dean leaving. And he still was.

"I know. You should get going."

Dean nodded and hesitated a few seconds before leaving Castiel to his thoughts and beating heart.

_**Line break**_

All Castiel did that day was putting in as much effort as he could in being lazy. He watched movies that Dean and Sam had recommended – it was odd how different they were – and eating. He had eaten popcorn, cold pizza and pie, and when he was craving again he found himself disappointed in the lack of food in the brothers' kitchen. The only thing he found was grapes and a jar of something called nutella. He had never heard of it, but it said it was chocolate so he thought he would give it a try.

When he pressed play and the Lord of the Rings appeared on the small TV-screen, he opened the jar and sniffed it carefully. It didn't smell very good, but he dipped his index finger in the brown mass. He frowned before tasting it and he actually moaned when it touched his tongue. It was _amazing_!

After half of the movie had passed, Castiel stared at the nutella and grapes before dipping a grape in his chocolate heaven. He took a deep breath before bringing the combination to his mouth.

"This makes me... very happy." he mumbled after he had swallowed. He could be eat it forever.

_**Line break**_

Castiel fell asleep during the Return of the King and his mind was blank. But when the door to the apartment squeaked he sat straight up. His heart was threatening to jump out of his chest if he didn't calm his nerves. But he couldn't open his mouth. What if it was him? What if it was... Crowley, who came back for him?

"Castiel? It's me." Sam's voice made Castiel relax. He fell back on the bed and laid a hand on his chest. He knew Sam didn't mean to frighten him, but he couldn't ignore the fact that he was terrified of Crowley and the thought of him made his heart skip a beat.

Almost everybody had been asking him who it was that had beaten him; his parents, Sam, Bobby, the police, the doctors. Everybody except Dean. And Castiel silently thanked him for that. He wouldn't have lied to Dean, but he still didn't want him to know. Not yet.

"Dean won't be home until seven, so you can do whatever you want. Are you hungry?" Sam shouted from the living room and Castiel replied with a simple no. He then managed to get up from Dean's far too comfortable bed and walk in to the shower.


	12. Chapter 12

**AN: **_And I'm back once again, and from the dead this time. I've just got back to school from the holidays, so I've been kinda busy. And just to get away from everything I decided to write. Hopefully, this will lead to all the things I have planned. Read, enjoy, review!_

"Lucy, I'm home!" Dean shouted as he walked in to the apartment. He laughed a bit at himself before closing the door behind him.

"Nobody cares, Dean." Sam replied. He sat on the couch with his eyes glued to the TV. Dean frowned and muttered some well chosen words before he asked where Castiel was. Sam pointed at his bedroom door, and Dean walked up to it. He knocked three times before Castiel told him he could enter.

"So, Castiel. What have you..." said Dean but stopped himself as his eyes got wider. He swallowed and a heat started to spread on his cheeks.

"What have you done today?" he continued and turned away his gaze. Castiel was wearing nothing but a towel around his hips. The dark hair was wet and all over his face. Dean had to give it to him. He was not as muscular and big as Dean, but he was really firm. Dean didn't want to stare, in case Castiel would feel uncomfortable.

"Nothing, really. I watched some of your movies and ate." Castiel responded and Dean turned his gaze to his face. He only dared to because Castiel's smile was so enchanting.

Dean couldn't help but smile back.

_**Line break**_

Dean glanced at Castiel and Sam who had fallen asleep next to him on the couch. He rolled his eyes before poking on them. Gentle on Castiel, harsh on Sam.

"Okay, you two. Time to go to bed."

Sam growled but got up and stumbled to his bedroom. Castiel on the other hand didn't move. Dean took a deep breathe and allowed himself to really look at him before poking him again.

"That means you too."

Castiel grunted and leaned towards Dean. His heart rushed at the speed of a running horse as he felt Castiel against his chest. He smiled to himself before getting up. He grabbed Castiel and guided him towards the bedroom. When they arrived to the bed, Castiel fell straight on it with a loud sigh. Dean laughed quietly before tucking him in.

After resisting giving Castiel a kiss on his forehead, Dean sat down in front of the TV once more. He didn't pay notice to the screen, instead he was thinking about how strange Crowley had been in school. He had given Dean weird looks and smiles, but a hint of fear was always lurking in every move he made. He even had walked up to him and asked how Castiel was doing.

That was the weirdest. Crowley hated Castiel with his guts – as far as Dean knew – so why would he ask him how he felt? Maybe he had a heart after all.

_**Line break**_

Dean sat up and gasped for air as a loud scream echoed in the apartment. Without thinking he threw himself off the couch and launched forward. Sam peeked out from his bedroom but as he saw Dean, he slowly backed away. He knew he wouldn't be able to help Castiel the same way Dean could.

Dean smashed the door open at the time Castiel screamed again. He froze when he saw Castiel turn in agony and pain with his eyes shut in horror.

"No... no." Castiel mumbled and Dean took a few steps closer to him.

"Crowley, no!" Dean stopped. His mind went blank. It all made sense. Crowley didn't have a heart. He was the devil himself.

When Castiel screamed again, Dean crawled into his bed and took Castiel in his arms. He breathed heavily when Castiel calmed down. He glanced at Castiel's face and bit his lips as he saw that the cheeks were wet. Castiel held onto Dean for dear life, pulling him close.

"Don't worry, Cas. I'm here for you." Dean whispered and pulled Castiel close.

_**Line break**_

Dean had been preparing himself for this moment all day.

When Castiel had woken up and they had their breakfast, Dean had kept his mouth shut. Sam didn't say anything either, probably because he thought Dean and Castiel already had talked. Dean had simply kept it to himself and had avoid the looks Castiel gave him through out the morning.

Sam and Dean had then walked to school, and they both were feeling guilty off leaving Castiel all alone after a nightmare like that. But Dean knew he would be home sooner than expected.

He was sitting in the corner of the cafeteria, just waiting. His eyes were almost black out of rage, his right leg wouldn't stop moving and he clenched his fists over and over. People gave him strange looks and whispered amongst each other. He didn't look at anyone.

When his gaze landed on a small group of people he stopped moving. Crowley had his back against him. Meg, Ruby and a bunch of other guys were standing besides him, all laughing.

It made Dean saw red.

He stood up and walked towards Crowley. He laid his left hand on his shoulder and turned him around. Crowley went from surprised to scared in the blink of a second. Dean didn't have to think. He saw the confirmation in Crowley's eyes. It was he who had beaten Castiel. He and his stupid gang.

Dean raised his right fist, clenched so hard his knuckles where white, and punched Crowley in his face. He fell to the ground and blood slowly began to flow from his nose.

A hand grabbed Dean's arm but he shook it away. He then turned to one of the guys and hit him in the gut. Dean thought his name was Raphael, but he really didn't care as that much. He only knew that he was not going to be stopped from hurting Crowley.

He then began defending himself and attacking the rest of the gang around Crowley. He didn't knew how but he managed to get everyone away from him while whimpering in pain. Dean had gotten a few punches himself, but he ignored the pain. He turned to Crowley who had gotten up from the floor, and punched him in the gut. Crowley bend over, gasped for air. Dean then kneed him in the face and Crowley fell to the floor one more time. Dean slowly sat down next to him and grabbed his chin, turning his gaze towards him. He locked his eyes with Crowley's and he enjoyed the things he could see in his eyes. Fear. Pain. Hopelessness.

"Touch Castiel again and I'll kill you." he said. He released Crowley from his grip and smiled at him before winking. He stood up and that's when he realized how many that was actually staring at him. A teacher pressed through the crowd and stopped in shock. He looked from Crowley, to Dean, to the other boys that were hurt, to Dean again.

"You're coming with me."

Dean shrugged and did as he was told. He didn't care what would happen to him. But when he walked out of the cafeteria he saw Sam. He looked so sad and so broken that Dean felt the coldness flush right off him. His actions wouldn't make an impact on Sam. Not this time.

_**Line break**_

"You're so stupid, Dean! This is so typical you!"

Dean was sitting on the couch with his head bent down while listening to Sam shouting at him. Dean had gotten suspended from school, and not kicked out. He thought that was good news. When Dean had been in the principal's office, one boy had told a teacher that he had heard Crowley and the others brag about how they had beaten Castiel. He had told the teacher that Dean and Castiel were good friends and that he was only protecting him when he had raged at Crowley in the cafeteria. The principal had then talked to Crowley and the others. One of the boys had cracked, and they were all kicked out. Dean on the other hand got a milder punishment.

He had known that Sam would be angry with him, but he wanted him to understand. He just didn't want to sell Castiel out. He hadn't told Dean or Sam because of some reason, and he didn't knew if Castiel wanted Sam to know.

"Why. Dean?! Why? That's the only thing I need to know!"

Dean glanced at Sam before looking at Castiel. Sam had red cheeks from the anger and his hair was a mess. He was breathing heavily while waiting for an answer. Castiel on the other hand looked shy, almost scared. He met Dean's gaze and nodded. Dean took a deep breath and looked Sam in the eyes.

"It was Crowley and his group of idiots who had beaten Castiel. I was making sure Crowley understood that I wouldn't let him mess with people I care about." he said and managed to keep himself from blushing. He could feel Castiel looking at him but his eyes were locked on Sam. His rage cooled off and he looked at Castiel.

"Oh." he whispered and blinked a few times. He then shrugged and smiled.

"Then I'm cool with it."

Castiel looked mildly surprised, but Dean dropped his chin. Sam was _cool _with it?

"Wait, what? You just went from a freaking ball of fire to _I'm cool with it_? What the hell?" he protested. Sam smiled and shrugged again.

"I don't like when people mess with the people I care about either, Dean. Castiel's practically family." he responded and walked in to the kitchen. Dean grinned and leaned back on the couch. He dared to give Castiel a look and his heart melted.

Castiel's blue eyes were tearing up and they were nailed to Sam's back. He had one of those really beautiful smiles on his lips, and when Sam was no longer in his view he turned to Dean. His smile grew and he laughed quietly. Dean had to take a deep breath.

There was no point denying it. He had fallen head over heals for Castiel.


	13. Chapter 13

**AN: **_I am so, so, sorry that this chapter has taken _**_forever_**_, but I've had a really bad writers-block. I really love this story, and I needed the ending to be perfect. Since I've never written smut before, it wasn't exactly easy. I'm not overly fond of the way the sex-part turned out, but I'm learning. Hopefully it will be readable._

_Anyway, read and enjoy!_

_P.S I'm thinking of making an epilogue, let me know what you guys think D.S_

"Wow. This is... really big."

Dean was standing in the hallway of Castiel's house. He was wearing a pair of jeans, a navy blue shirt and his leather jacket. And, of course, his necklace. He was turning his head in all possible angles as he was trying to imprint everything into his mind.

"It is. Far too big." said Castiel and smiled. He took out his hands from the pockets of his trench coat and made a gesture for Dean to follow him, which he did.

Castiel had decided to move to his own house and get out of Dean and Sam's way, even though they both had protested. Although it wasn't the only reason he wanted to leave; he didn't think he would be able to if he stayed much longer. He felt at home with them, like he belonged somewhere. He hadn't had that feeling for a long time.

When they entered the living room, Dean whistled. Castiel liked the living room. It was one of the rooms he actually felt at peace in. Probably because that was where the good memories he had was from.

A soft thump made it clear that Dean had put down Castiel's bag on the floor. Castiel himself turned around to look at Dean and blushed when he saw him walking around and studying every little part of the room. Literally everything. From the paintings, to the coffee table, and to the open fire place.

"This is... this is really awesome." said Dean and Castiel blushed again.

"It's nothing, really." he replied. Suddenly he realized he didn't feel safe, like he used to. The room was too big. There was too much empty space, too much area just for him. Simply, it was too much. Castiel swallowed. Dean walked up to him and laid a hand on his shoulder.

"Hey, are you okay?" he asked with a worried expression on his face. Castiel nodded eagerly.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm fine."

He knew Dean saw right through him. He knew that Dean saw that he was terrified.

"I could stay with you, if you'd want to."

Castiel looked up at Dean and nodded. He smiled when he saw the truth in Dean's eyes.

_**Line break**_

Castiel sat on his bed in his ridiculously huge bedroom and was unpacking his bags. He opened the small backpack and pull out his journal. He stroked it – as always – and put it on the bed next to him him. He then started pouring out the rest on the floor. He didn't notice when Dean sat down next to him, but when he grabbed his journal, he flinched.

"What's this? Your diary?" said Dean and smiled teasingly. Castiel knew he looked horrified, because he was. His heart was beating aggressively against his ribs and he was breathing heavily. Dean glanced at him and his smile faded away.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to..." Dean started but Castiel interrupted him.

"It's okay, it's just... I haven't talked about these things to anyone."

He reached out for the journal and Dean gave it to him. He stroked it while taking a deep breathe. He then opened it and closed his eyes for a few seconds. He needed to gather himself. He also needed Dean to understand why he was acting the way he did.

"The last time I talked about this was a year ago, with my parents. It didn't quite help." said Castiel with a sad smile. He met Dean's gaze and he knew that he was listening. Not just listening, but _listening._ It made Castiel feel safe, and it all became so much easier. He pointed at the picture on the first page.

"This is my family. Or, what it used to be. That's my mom and dad, and that's... That's my sister, Anna. She died last year."

Castiel was looking at the picture, but he could feel Dean twist.

"She was killed in a fire. Some freak decided it was a fun thing to burn down a movie theater full of people, and unfortunately she was there. She was the only one who understood me, you know? The only one who didn't care that I was gay." he continued and turned his gaze to Dean. He realized he was crying when he saw the look on Dean's face. He seemed so heartbroken, as if he had known Anna and truly mourn her death. It made Castiel feel a warmth in his body he hadn't felt in a really long time.

"My mom and dad, they... They seemed to shut me out. Never really talked to me after that. Well, they never had, but when I had had Anna I didn't care. Since she left, I've been so lonely." Castiel's voice broke and when Dean's hand closed around his own he closed his eyes. The tears started pouring down his cheeks and it became harder to breathe. He started shaking, and he could feel the rise of a panic attack.

"Hey, hey. Come here." whispered Dean and pulled Castiel close. That's when he lost it. He started sobbing loudly, not caring of what Dean would think of him. He grabbed a hold of Dean's shirt with a firm grip and buried his face in Dean's chest. Dean was stroking his back and pulling his fingers through his hair. The small touch made Castiel calmer, for an unknown reason.

They just sat there for a long time, with Castiel crying and Dean doing his best to comfort him. When Dean finally spoke, Castiel was still holding onto him.

"My mother died in a house fire when I was four. Sam was only six months. Some random guy had started it. My dad went nuts. He spent all his life trying to find the one who did it, with out any luck." Dean snorted and Castiel opened his eyes just so stare on Dean's chest.

"Completely forgot about me and Sam, so it became my job to look after him. And then, a few years ago, the cops did it. They found him. And when the day of the trial arrived, my dad shot him. Right in the head. Of course he ended up in prison, leaving me and Sam alone. We've been on our own ever since."

Castiel lift his head to look at Dean. His heart broke when he saw a lonely tear fall down his cheek. Castiel sat up properly and looked down at his knees in a slight embarrassment. Dean reached out and wiped Castiel's cheeks dry with a small smile on his face.

"You'll never be alone as long as I live." he said seriously.

_**Line break**_

Castiel sat on the kitchen island while he watched Dean who was exploring every area possible. Castiel had a smirk on his lips and he even laughed when Dean's expression changed from concentration to astonishment. He dragged his fingers along the counters and touched everything.

"Can I ask why you are so amazed by my home?" asked Castiel finally and Dean looked at him with a smile.

"Yeah."

When he didn't continue, Castiel laughed.

"Why are you so amazed, Dean?"

"Because I've never been in a house like this. It's so big, and luxurious. I'm used to crappy motels and sloppy apartments. It's kind of overwhelming." he answered and Castiel frowned.

"Your apartment isn't sloppy." he protested and Dean threw his head back in a loud laugh. He glanced at the clock when Castiel's stomach growled.

"Pizza?" said Dean and Castiel nodded.

The pizza arrived after twenty minutes. Castiel dared to threw a few glances towards Dean while they ate, and he couldn't help smiling every time. There was something about Dean. Maybe it was the way he took care of Castiel, the way he was, the way he ate. Or maybe it was everything about him.

When the whole pizza was gone, Dean sighed.

"If I knew we were both that hungry, I would have ordered two." he said with a smirk. Castiel agreed. He was still a little bit hungry. He stood up and walked to the fridge. His eyes landed on a serving dish, and he pulled it out.

"Well, I got this pie that I..."

He hadn't even finished his sentence before Dean stood next to him with his eyes fixed on the pie.

"Yes, I want that." said Dean and his voice was trembling out of excitement. Castiel giggled and put it on the table. When he opened the drawer to take out two spoons, Dean snatched a fork and sat down at the table. Castiel didn't say anything, he simply smiled at how adorable Dean was. If he knew he was that crazy about pie, he would have baked three.

He grabbed a fork of his own when Dean dug in. He blushed when Dean actually _moaned _when the piece entered his mouth. The blush got even more distinctive when he automatically pictured that moan in a different situation. He sat down at the table and took a bite of his own.

"Oh my god, Cas..." mumbled Dean. Castiel froze, and Dean swallowed hard.

"You called me Cas."

Dean blushed and avoided Castiel's gaze.

"Yeah. It's a stupid thing, don't worry. I won't do it again." he said and his voice toned out at the end. Castiel smirked.

"No, I like it." he said. Dean looked him in the eyes and smiled. There was an awkward silence when they returned their attention to the pie. But when Dean cried out when he took another bite the tension disappeared.

"This is really amazing, Cas. Did you do this?" said Dean and Castiel nodded.

When they whole pie was gone, Castiel stood up and started taking care of the dishes. It wasn't much, but he did it anyway. Dean stayed at the table with his eyes nailed to the ceiling. Castiel poured water in to the sink along with some soap, and started whistling. It wasn't a melody, just a few different sounds that he made over and over.

"So... How's it going on the guy-front?"

Castiel actually dropped the plate he was holding when Dean raised his voice. He stumbled over his words when he answered.

"You know, not well. I mean, it could go better. Not that it has to, but it could." he rambled and closed his eyes. He took a deep breathe when he tried to calm down. He knew Dean wasn't gay, but he couldn't help but to think of him in that way. And he couldn't just tell Dean how he felt, could he?

"How's it going on the girl-front?" he asked and Dean was silent for a while. Castiel's heart sank. He knew it. Dean had started to like someone. Probably Meg. Or Ruby. Hell, maybe it was Naomi. Castiel drained the sink and dried his hands without turning his face towards Dean. He didn't want him to see his jealousy.

"Not good at all. On the boy-front, maybe a bit better."

The what?!

"You see, I like this guy. But I'm not sure he knows that I'm bisexual. And I'm not sure he likes me."

Castiel tried to breathe but he could feel the tears starting to fill up his eyes. How had he missed it? He had lost his chance, forever stuck in the friend-zone. Dean was bisexual, and he hadn't taken the chance. Castiel cursed himself. He was stupid, a loser, pathetic...

Dean grabbed hold of Castiel's arm and spun him around. Castiel didn't have time to say anything before Dean pressed their lips softly together. Castiel didn't know how to respond so he just stood there. Dean finally broke away from the kiss and looked at Castiel with a slight fear in his eyes. Then it hit him. The guy that Dean liked, was him.

His gaze shifted from Dean's eyes and his lips before pulling him closer for another kiss. Dean gasped for air when the kiss Castiel started was a lot more hungry and needy than the first one. Castiel's hands grabbed a hold of Dean's shirt. Goosebumps spread along his body when Dean's hands landed on his hips, pulling their bodies closer. They breathed heavily in the same rhythm, and it made Castiel smile when he realized how good they fit together. Castiel's fingers reached out for Dean's hair. He jerked when Dean moaned at the touch and Castiel's smile faded.

He _wanted _so much. He wanted _more_.

Castiel bit Dean's lower lip which earned him another moan. He felt himself tense up, but he quickly forced himself to relax. He knew he wanted it, he was just so scared.

He was a virgin. And he was really sure that Dean wasn't.

Castiel's thoughts became a blur when he felt Dean's hands on his ass, slightly squeezing. Castiel gasped at the feeling and pulled Dean even closer. He pressed his lips hard against Dean's who slightly opened his mouth. Dean's tongue pressed gently on Castiel's teeth and he moaned when he was given access.

They stood there for a good five minutes before something changed. Their movements slowed down, and the aggressiveness faded into something deeper.

"Maybe we should..." Dean mumbled in the kiss.

"Yeah." Castiel replied and turned Dean around to the direction of his room. They didn't let go of each other, and neither did their kiss break.

Castiel managed to open the door after a short struggle, and walked in to his bedroom while pulling Dean with him. Dean himself kicked the door closed with his right foot and grinned. Castiel's legs folded when he hit the bed. He laid down on his back, and Dean fell on top of him.

Castiel twitched when he felt the hardness through Dean's pants. It made him shiver out of excitement and a slight fear. He couldn't say he didn't feel the same way, because he did. He had a bump in his pants that only got harder at the thought of what would happen next.

Dean had opened up Castiel's shirt while he was lost in his mind, but he was harshly pulled back to reality when Dean placed a kiss on his collarbone. Castiel groaned and pushed his hips up. Dean traced his fingers over Castiel's chest; twice over the parts where Castiel twitched.

Dean sat up and pulled of his shirt in one swift motion. Yeah, he had done this a few times before. He moved his lips over Castiel's right nipple. Castiel gasped when small puffs of hot air brushed against it. Dean started sucking at the nipple, while gently twisting the other one. Castiel let out a wimp. He was unsure what he was supposed to do, but he couldn't stop himself from pressing his body up against Dean.

After a while Dean got off the bed and started taking his pants, shoes and socks off. He did it quickly, and Castiel – who had copied Dean's actions – had only taken off his shoes and socks. He actually froze when he looked at Dean. He was afraid that his heart might jump out of his chest, even though he knew that it was impossible. And by the looks off Dean's deep breaths and how his gaze was locked on Castiel, he felt the same.

Dean laid down on top of Castiel once more, and started tugging at his pants. It didn't take long before the denim ended up on the floor amongst the other clothing.

But when Dean started to move his hands on Castiel's thigh, he freaked out.

"I'm a virgin." he blurred out. Dean blinked a few times and then started to move away.

"It's okay, we don't have to do this."

Castiel grabbed a hold of Dean's arm and ignored his confused expression.

"No, I didn't mean it like that. I'm just... not sure what to do. I don't want to do anything wrong." Castiel said and blushed. Dean took a deep breath before giving Castiel a quick kiss.

"I'll help you. And you won't mess up. I mean, you have done a really good job so far." he said and grinned. He took Castiel's hand and placed it on his crotch. He hissed at the feeling and Castiel blushed even harder. For some reason, he got more confident in the trust Dean had for him. Castiel gently grabbed a hold of Dean's cock and smiled shyly. Dean's breath hitched and his grin faded out and was replaced by a serious face that had _lust_ written all over it.

Their lips met once more, slower this time. Castiel thought he would fly off in to the sky if Dean wasn't laying on top of him. So many feelings were expressed in that one kiss; passion, want, fear and love. Castiel moved his hands to Dean's ass and gave it a light squeeze. And just like that, it all felt simpler. Dean laughed quietly into the kiss and rolled them both over so that Castiel was laying on top of him. When Dean's hands started roaming all over his body, Castiel actually got goosebumps. It was all better than what he had imagined.

Then Dean brushed over that _incredibly _sensitive spot on his lower back, and Castiel let out a small cry of want while throwing his head back. Dean took the opportunity and started sucking a hickey on his neck. Castiel started moving, and _oh my lord._ The friction made Castiel whine. His hands managed to bury themselves in Dean's hair while his mouth searched for those tasteful lips. Dean moaned when their lips clashed together and Castiel's tongue darted out to claim.

"We, uh... We need... Do you..." Dean said without breaking the kiss. Castiel growled at him.

"Lube."

Castiel froze for a half a second before breaking the kiss and reaching over to his bedside table and pulling out a small bottle of lube out of the drawer. Dean stared at him for a while until Castiel shrugged.

"Just because I'm a virgin, it doesn't mean that I don't know the basics."

Dean laughed and kissed him. He dragged his fingers through Castiel's hair.

"I don't have any condoms with me, but I swear to you that I'm clean."

Castiel only nodded. He trusted Dean.

"How you want to do this?" Dean then asked and his voice had a deep worry in its tone. Castiel smiled and kissed Dean's jaw.

"You're the one with experience. You tell me."

Apparently that wasn't good enough for Dean, and Castiel couldn't help but to blush over the fact that Dean cared about him. Castiel hesitated before leaning forward, placing his mouth besides Dean's ear.

"I want you... inside me."

Dean moaned and rolled them over again. Their boxers quickly ended up on the floor and they both hissed at the release. Dean reached for the bottle of lube that Castiel still was holding, and poured some in his open palm. He tried to warm it up before moving down Castiel's body. Dean watched Castiel's body shiver with anticipation and he swallowed hard. He moved his index finger around the rim and caressed Castiel's thigh when a high pitched sound echoed in the room.

"Don't worry, I'll take care of you." Dean said and placed a kiss on the inside of Castiel's thigh. He gently pushed the finger inside and moaned. The feeling of being inside Castiel, along with the heat, was overwhelming.

"Goddammit, Cas. You feel so good."

Dean bit Castiel's thigh and slowly started to stretch his hole. The sounds Castiel let out put Dean to the test, and he was proud of himself for not mounting Castiel just like that.

When Dean had stretched Castiel for a long time, just to be sure, Castiel was a mess. His hair was pointing in every direction, his cheeks were red, his skin was damp of sweat, and his voice was rougher than usual.

"Dean, please. I, I can't... You can't... I _need _you."

That was all that Dean needed, because he felt the same as Castiel looked. He pulled out his three fingers and tried to ignore the sad sounds Castiel made. He sat up and felt those piercing blue eyes staring him down. But it didn't feel awkward, like it might if it wasn't Castiel. He lubed himself up before moving down and kissing Castiel.

"Mine."

The word let out a shiver down Castiel's spine.

"Yours." he answered and his dick twitched at the sound Dean made. A pressure to his hole made Castiel gasp for air, and his left hand reached out for Dean's right arm. That small contact made Castiel relax. His eyes shut and he breathed heavily. A strangled moan escaped his lips as Dean entered him. It was pleasure mixed with a burn, but he didn't want to stop.

Dean waited a while before he started moving and _jesus christ _how he moved. Castiel locked his legs around Dean's waist, and he couldn't keep quiet. He moaned, cried, and almost screamed at the feeling. He had fingered himself but it didn't feel even close as good as this. Dean placed a hand on Castiel's cheek, and smiled when he finally could see those beautiful eyes again.

Dean managed to move the legs around his waist and pushed on Castiel's thighs so his knees ended up closer to his face. The new angle made Dean able to hit that _oh so sweet _spot and Castiel screamed. Dean moaned loudly. He started moving faster and thrust harder. Their hands knit together, and the rhythm became sloppy as they both came closer to the edge.

"Jesus christ, Cas. I'm gonna come."

Castiel only managed to mumble out a _me too _and that seemed to make Dean determined to make Castiel come first. He grabbed Castiel's dick and started jerking him off. Castiel wasn't prepared and he gasped.

"Dean...!" he cried out and came all over Dean's hand and their chests. Dean followed shortly thereafter with a grunt. Castiel enjoyed the feeling of being marked by Dean, the feeling of being claimed. They breathed heavily, with Dean still laying on top of Castiel and still buried deep inside of him. Castiel didn't mind, though. After a while it became a little uncomfortable, and Dean pulled out with a small sound. Castiel winced at the burn, and Dean moved his hands over Castiel's chest soothingly.

"That. Was. Perfect." he mumbled in Castiel's ear, and he blushed. Dean reached down for his shirt, and then started cleaning them. He ignored the protest Castiel made and assured him that the shirt would be fine. He then threw the shirt away and pulled Castiel as close as he could. Castiel ended up with his his nose pressed against Dean's chest, and Dean's arms wrapped tightly around him. Castiel closed his eyes and listened to Dean's heartbeats. He wrapped his own arms around Dean and smiled when he heard a pleased sigh.

_**Line break**_

"I love you."

Castiel had almost dozed off when he heard Dean. He opened his eyes and looked up at Dean.

"What did you say?"

Dean looked a bit afraid, but when he spoke his voice was steady.

"I love you, Castiel Novak."

Castiel felt his heart blow up to the size of Africa and he practically beamed. He moved up so that their foreheads were pressed against each other. Castiel pressed his lips gently against Dean's sighed.

"I love you too, Dean Winchester."


End file.
